It’s been 3 months since school has started and I cant shake the feeling I’m being stalked, I should probably talk to a teacher or my parents about this, but I don’t like people to worry, and I don’t very much like confrontation. I haven’t made any good friends yet, last year and this year so there’s no help from my generation, except this guy Ben; were not close friends but a popular guy has to know one out cast or another. This feeling though…everywhere I turn, even at home.
Thank goodness its lunch I get to have a moment of calm in the schools many domestically hidden staircases, unless Ben joins me. That guy puts me on edge, I feel like something’s not right with him.
These thoughts cloud my mind as I make my way though the crowds to the unnoticed staircase, its nice here, kinda dark, but filled with dim stain glassy light from a skylight mural; just what I like.
I become easy when I see no sign of Ben, so I rest easy in my dark little lunch corner.
Why go make friends with people I wont really fit in with.
I look up hearing soft but loud footsteps, its Ben.
“Hello Opal” he says like always “Looking prettier each day” he continues with a toothy smile
“I’m surprised you can even see me.” I say
“It may be dark but I can see” Ben laughs
Of all the people he eats with it’s me, of all the friends he has. I wonder why. This is what puts me on edge.
I don’t visually show this, there will be a few facial ticks here or there but none to really think other wise of.
“So Opal” he starts opening a caned soda “what’s new?”
“Nothing really…” I say taking a bite of my sandwich
“Aw come on, there’s gotta be something new going on” Ben said now looking at me
“Well…I think I may have a stalker…I guess”, I say. Ben’s eyes go wide for a moment then back to normal
“W-what” Ben says taken aback
“Calm down, its nothing just a feeling” I say waiving it off
“Oh ok then, don’t joke like that though…” he says
“Yeah okay” I say then there was silence
I finished my lunch a while ago and am getting antsy sitting here, I’m not so rude as to leave another in a dark spot while there still picking at what’s passed off fro lunch these days
A few more moments of silence
“Hey I’m goanna go…” I say getting up
“Uh Opal wait, I wanted to tell you something” Ben says getting up getting his bag and tossing the empty food napkins and a half full soda can.
“What is it class starts soon” I say
Ben took a step towards me, I took one back until I was up agents a wall; my stomach churned when he grabbed my hands and brought them to my chest, bringing his face was very close to mine, and giving me a light but long kiss on the lips. He stopped and stepped back my hands still in his and said with a smile -
“Opal I really like you a lot”
I opened my mouth to talk but nothing came out, so I just turned to the stairs and left, upon the last step I turned to look back to see Ben’s face overflowing with several emotions at once, finally able to speak I said in a quiet voice –
I didn’t get much sleep last night, I kept thinking about yesterday’s lunch moment. I feel like I over reacted, and I want to apologize to Ben.
My stomachs in knots as I enter school, why am I so nervous I’ve been going to this school since 9th grade, somehow with out friends. Maybe its nothing just a small case of anxiety.
The hallways not to crowded with people, a lot of them are at their lockers or are making their way to class early, everything seams normal as I make my way to my locker. I may see Ben there, so I may have a chance of saying sorry about yesterday.
As I make my way towards my locker there’s no sign of Ben, but there is a large amount of flowers and letter-cards overflowing inside and out from my locker.
“How the hell…What” was all I was able to say people were gathering around, pointing and talking about how someone did all this.
I wanted to leave, but my name was on a majority of the stuff and I was standing right there. I had no other option.
Moving to the locker while people watched I started picking each flower and letter up, some people were nice to help but left when class was starting soon. Ben was nowhere to be seen and I hoped he had nothing to do with this because of yesterday.
And the felling of being watched was at an all time high.
Home is warm and cozy everything is in reach. No feeling of being watched, just calm.
Sitting on my bed I am reading manga, which is a type of Japanese comic book. Using it as a distraction from an elephant in the room, a bag filled with the flowers, and letter-cards I picked up today.
My curiosity has peeked and I spilled the contents of the bag onto the floor of my room. Each flower was heavily perfumed by a sweet, sickly smell; it’s suffocating and nauseating.
I put them in the garbage.
The envelopes had the same smell, but were less nauseating. But looked like they were made from very fine stationary with intricate lace like designs. Inside the envelope there were pink slips of paper with the words – I love you written on each paper no name to say who they’re from, just an - I love you on each paper.
My skin prickled, with a cold sweat, and my heartbeat quickened.
“I said this before and I’ll say it now, I hope this has nothing to do with Ben”
The love notes and envelopes went in the trash, I thought to keep the envelopes since they looked so expensive and nice, but I can’t take any chances with.
Notes gone, flowers gone, I felt better, but not back to normal.
These past few days have been fine and uneventful, I’ve only seen Ben in the halls throughout the day, we do occasionally lock eyes with each other, and sometimes I’m greeted with a smile or a wave from afar that I usually halfheartedly return.
Now in class is uneventful, just the teacher droning on reading from the textbook about some historical event; its the last class of the day and no one wants to be here, just about everyone is either sleeping day, doodling, dreaming, or on their phone doing whatever, even our teacher doesn’t want to be here and he’s getting paid to do this.
Don’t know how to continue this…ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ